Last night I attended my 1st Pertamina Toastmaster Club Speech Contest and I took humorous category. Actually, I prepared a script before this one, but I wasn’t sure I can deliver it in funny ways. After got feedback too, I was so sure to find a new topic for my humorous speech. So, this is the speech I delivered and I won the 1st place. Actually, I did some improvisations on stage, because I forgot many things :D. Some lines are inspired by Toastmasters rules. So if you don’t get my jokes, you can come and join with us 🙂 Anyway, feedback is welcome 🙂 Hope can do much better for next competition.

Criteria

Being single nowadays isn’t an easy thing to do. Moreover when the time to pay the bills is coming and I have to pay it all alone. By myself. It hurts me and my wallet!

By being a single makes people come and ask “What are your criteria for your future partner? Don’t set it too high”  And some said “Don’t be so picky”…

I learn from my mom. Mom, when she goes to traditional market and buys catfish, she will look around, analyze and choose even though catfishes in my eyes are all the same: black, ugly, and have mustache, but Mom still chooses! To pick a catfish we’re allowed to choose, but why they told me for not being so picky while choosing a life partner? That’s not fair!

Good evening Fellow Toastmaster and Guests.

Actually I never wrote criteria for my future partner before, because since two years ago I was too busy to write paper and thesis. I didn’t have time to do that!

Since I joined Toastmasters, went to regular meeting, and attended Toastmaster International Convention 2014, I wish I can find the right one. But I don’t. From Toastmasters too, I learn how to build confidence and good communication, how to talk in front of many people and handle nervous feeling like this time, because I get used to watch Mrs Karen [CEO of my company] who stands here but tonight is different. And from Toastmaster I finally know what kind of person that I want to be with.

1. A good listener. Based on a research report, women really do talk more than man and produce about 13000 words per day. This makes me wondering, why at the last world public speaking competition was dominated by man? Ladies, I only have one advice: we have to speak more than 13000 words because it doesn’t enough to beat them. From Toastmasters too I know that we have time to speak, time to listen. And I think I know how many times needed for me and my future partner to talk.

” Baby, if you want to evaluate me, you only have 2 minutes. But if you want to explain something, you have 5 minutes” I don’t want to waste my time.

2. Excellent English. We face a global community and Indonesia is going to face ASEAN Economic Community 2015, the competition will be harder than before and having ability to speak english is important because it’s an international language. English isn’t my mother tongue too, that’s why I speak like this [not fluent in english]. So I need partner who can improve my english FOR FREE. I don’t want to go to english course and pay for it, I can use the money to buy clothes or shoes!

3. Has agenda. Every two week, I get Toastmaster meeting invitation from my club and the agenda is written there. I realize that having agenda is really important because it will guide our way, becomes a lighter, a reminder what have to be done and avoid wasting time. Because I only have 2 main agenda in my life: travel and travel more, so my future partner should have a vital agenda: collect money more than I can spend.

Sometimes I think society act like they know more what’s best for us, “you should do this that, should graduate soon, find a job, married, have kids, retired wealthy, and die happily.” They forget that everyone has different goal, different criteria to live their life, and sure different destiny. So, why bother? Happiness is in our hand.