I Was A Better Mom Before I Had Kids (via 4 Mothers)

Soon after I saw the title, I was a better mom before I had kids, I clicked and read this post. Actually, from the title I can imagine about the things to say by the author. I already have plans for (future) my children and this post makes me worry about what if I ruin my plans. But this makes me realize, it wont be easy to raise children.

Before I had children I was a great mom.

When my husband and I decided that we were going to start a family I was confident that I would be a “great mom”.  I naively felt that I had the credentials to back up my bold assumption.  After all I hold a university degree that includes many courses in child development and psychology and after graduating from my undergrad, I went on and completed my teaching degree with emphasis on grades kindergarten to six.

I have spent hours reading books on how the mind of a child works.  I have researched papers about the inner workings of a child’s psyche.  I used to be current on the research about TV watching and intelligence, which foods were toxic and how to cultivate well rounded, thoughtful individuals.

I think back to those cocky days, when my patience was intact and sleep deprivation meant pulling one all-nighter and having to work in the morning.

For those with kids: I don’t have to explain how my preconceptions about what life with kids would be like and the world as I knew it simultaneously shattered after my children were born.

For those of you without kids (who just read over this list with the same bravado that I once had):  read my top ten “Before I Had Kids” list and memorize it.  It will come back to haunt you.

Before I had kids I was . . .

  1. Never going to let my kids sleep in my bed.
  2. Never going to allow the T.V. to be on while we ate meals.
  3. Never going to bribe my children to be on their best behaviour.
  4. Never going to applaud/cheer when my child peed in the toilet.
  5. Never going to allow my kids to have a dirty face, dirty hands or wear dirty clothes in public.
  6. Never going to leave the house looking like a disheveled mess (i.e. hair a mess, track pants, no make-up, etc.)
  7. Never going to use the T.V. as a babysitter so I could: a) have a shower b) talk on the phone c) do anything else for myself.
  8. Never going to lose my cool during a temper tantrum.
  9. Never going to feed my children anything less than the healthiest, most organic, delicious food.

10. Never going to give them a B.S. answer to any of their questions, no matter how challenging the answer

would be, no matter how uncomfortable I would be, no matter how long the conversation needed to go on.

To all of you mothers and fathers, what are some of the things you promised you would never do as a parent that you have found yourself doing since having children?

Taken from 4 Mothers.

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Present For Myself

Yay I’d like to say thank you again to Air Asia for the nice and reachable ticket prices, so I can buy ticket for next year *keplok2*.

Actually this morning before I did my Subuh prayer, I opened the Air Asia’s site for no reason. Clicked the links to get some information about promo things and suddenly an idea appeared in my mind,

“How about to have a bday celebration in another country?”

And I did it, bought a ticket for my bday :D. I hope I can celebrate my bday outside Indonesia *amiiin thousand times*. It’s nice to give yourself a sweet and unusual present in your bday. But if you never did it before, I’ll suggest to make a try :).

And the last, thanks to Mbak Fai and Mbak Din for the companion hihihi. Can’t wait for the next year! *dance all around*

Picture taken from here.

A Way To Get The Dream Has Come

Semalam aku berniat untuk hiatus dari dunia perbloggingan, karna beberapa alasan. Tapi justru hari ini malah bikin postingan baru.

God knows me well. I believe it.

Minggu kemaren aku merasa sangat kelelahan. Dan hal ini memberikan dampak ke buruknya mood dan hilangnya ide to do something fun. Sempet stuck juga dengan rencana-rencana yang bisa meningkatkan gairahku karna berjuang meraihnya. Semua menguap.

And i stopped on a point, didn’t move. I was tired. That’s all.

Yah begitulah ketika aku sudah kelelahan secara fisik. Sifat lintahku yang mudah untuk beregenerasi pun menjadi tidak berfungsi secara maksimal, bahkan bisa dikatakan impotent. No more fun.

Tapi sekarang aku justru memiliki beberapa hal yang harus aku handle bersamaan. So much fun, indeed ^^. Let God guide my path as always, I just can try my best to get closer to my dreams and I’ll let Him to decide the best way for me.

I had a great Sunday. Got a treat from Agnes in Sushi Groove *yummy* and we started to talk about our fun project. It makes me feel so terribly excited, we’ve found a way to realize one of my dream (maybe so does she).

I just imagine, for the next we’ll spend more time together with order a glass of coffee, sit in a cafe and stare at our laptop. And another time, we’ll sit on the edge of the bridge to enjoy our meal, duck and serundeng. You owe me this, Ay ^^.

But still, we have to do a hard work. Impeccably.

Thanks God for giving many lovely activities. Hope I can do it well.

“The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.” -Tom Bradley-

I Had A Dream

When I walked alone, I remembered that I ever had a dream. We’ve talked about that couple years ago.

Someday we’ll move to someplace outside our country. You said we need a good place for us, a green small town with great neighborhood, and i agreed. I could smell the green grasses around the house, and feel the fresh air in the morning at that time.

The park

Russell Lupins flowers

Yellow eyed penguin

Sunset of the city

I said I want to have a small shop, sell some Indonesian products. An awesome thing when I imagine the bules will come and buy those things. And you? Of course you’ll keep running your own business.

On the weekend, we will do vacation and bring meal that we prepared on the previous night. When we’re bored and need our-time, you’ll pick me up and we’ll walk along the edge of the street and find a nice place to enjoy ice cream and local cuisines.

But finally I woke up, and it was a beautiful dream that I ever had. We’ve ever had.

“Les rêves sont comme des étoiles. Vous ne pouvez pas les toucher, mais si vous les suivez, ils vous mèneront à votre destin.”

“Dreams are like stars. You can’t touch them, but if you follow them, they will lead you to your destiny.”

To Make The World Better

When i walk alone in a crowd of human, i think about many things. And from me-and-myself-day on previous Sunday, i got this; i want to start doing something to make the world better, begins with simple and small things.

Let's do something

Here we go:

  1. I just bought a big bag two weeks ago. I bought it because i need a big one to put my big france books in it. I’ll use it every sunday, and it has to bring a good habit effect too. Sometimes when i go to Jakarta i’ll  buy something, and the seller or cashier will give me plastic. I don’t need the plastics anymore, because i can put it in my big bag and tell the cashier “mbak, ga usah diplastik ya”. This can reduce the usage of plastic bags.
  2. I’m annoyed because the lack of respect for each other and human contact. I rarely see people use these magic words;  “maaf”, “tolong”, “permisi”, and “trima kasih”. People stay busy with their own life , no more smile, no more greeting. And i dont want to be the part of them. I’ll try to smile, greet and use the magic words everyday ^^. Baca lebih lanjut

Hug

I woke up earlier this morning. The morning silence perfectly can bring an atmosphere that drag me to realize what i feel indeed. I was searching an article and suddenly i found a Free Hugs video on the site. I watched it, and i cried.

Lately, i work harder to make the distance between me and my dreams closer. I feel enthusiastic, but deep down inside i feel scared for sure. There’s no another word beside “what if”. The scare wrapped my heart for one minute or two, and i think a free hug can make me feel better.  Baca lebih lanjut

2010 Wish List

Fine *take a deep breath*…

Karena Mbak Nyun telah merusak nama baikku, dengan memaparkan sebagian wish listku pada postinganku sebelumnya, maka aku mau nulisin My Wish List For 2010. Not all, just part of it. And i’ll leave the rest as my own secret that i never tell *Gossip Girl mode: on* :D.

Here we go *jreng jreng jreng*.

Baca lebih lanjut

My Plans With Holiday

Siapa yang ga suka ma holiday? Hihihi, nyebutnya aja uda excited ^^. Makanya aku termasuk orang yang senang merencanakan liburan dengan baik. Termasuk libur pas hari minggu, ato pun libur panjang.

Lately aku juga jarang di kos nih kalo weekend. Hari Sabtunya jelas ngantor, Minggunya tergantung pesanan dan mood. Aku juga uda punya beberapa rencana untuk mengisi liburan, full booked ahahahah *sok sibuk*. Here we go:

  1. Minggu depan: tadinya ada rencana mau ke PIM lagi, masi pengen ngoprek-ngoprek beberapa toko ^^. Tapi masi belum di confirm dengan my partner in fashion things.
  2. Habis solat Idul Adha, mau ikutan ke Situ Gunung di Sukabumi. Nginep di sana dan pulang hari Sabtu. Asik ni kayaknya, soalnya ke sana dengan beberapa fotografer-amatir-yang-uda-lumayan-modal-beli-kamera-mahal ^^ ahahahah.
  3. Tanggal 29 nya, uda ada kesepakatan mau pergi dengan A3/5 gals ada traktirannya Mbak Lala ma Mbak Rieke. Just cant wait, mau totok wajah dan makan-makan ahahahah. Jadi pengen spa *ngiler*.
  4. Truuuus lanjut ke akhir Desember. JOGJAAAAA….. ^^. Kakakku sepertinya uda menyiapkan list tempat makan enak buat malakin aku. Harus waspada ni :D. Oh ya, ke Jogja ntar barengan sama Mbak Tiar, Mbak Dina, dan Mas Jati beserta istrinya.
  5. Habis itu Maretnya, si Elly uda bikin plan untuk maen ke Karimun Jawa.

Jogja, waiting for me ^^

Have a nice holiday, all ^^. See you around. Talk bout holiday will boost my spirit fufufufu.

Woman and Career

Until this time, i am still confused about the boundaries of women emancipation, the issue that’s used by women to get the same right especially on career field. 21th April is commemorated as Kartini Day, the woman who fought for the women emancipation.

Previously, on Raden Ayu Kartini era, women didn’t have right to get a good education. They just stayed at home and belong to bedroom, kitchen and draw-well. You can read about Kartini on this link. I am writing this, just want to share my opinion, no offense. I just want to write something from my thought, as a woman.

Nowadays, many men are asking about the natural tendency of a woman, because there’re a lot of career women. Is it right to choose for being a career woman than being a housewife? I can’t give you a good answer, because it depends on the person and the situation. I’ll give you some reasons why i need to have my own job, especially my own earning.

  1. I need to have a community and environmental associations. I mean, if I just be a housewife, I can’t get much information and experiences about many things. In office, me and my friends can share our thought and vision about something.
  2. There’s no guarantee from my future husband to fulfill the household necessities. Then, I have to stand and support my (future) husband. I don’t want something bad to happen neither to my children nor my marriage that’s caused by my weak financial foundation.
  3. There’re already a lot of cases that bother me, a husband can leave his wife and children just for another or others woman. Nice case that scare me, some women are married by jerks. Then, the wife will be taking care of the children, and covering all of the needs including the education’s cost. What will happen if the wife doesn’t have a job?.
  4. If I have an earning, I can spend it to do many things without bothering my (future) husband earning that will be used to cover the household necessities. I don’t want to add burden on his solder to fund my shopping expenses.
  5. If I have a job from now on and keep it going, I can fight for reaching a better career and better earning. Then, when my children are growing up in the next several years, I already have a good job and earning, I hope. And, I can take care of them without the feeling of guilty or worry about their future.
  6. As long as I am single, I can help others or try to make my family happy with what I’ve got.

Yap, that’s all. But, it’s not right if a woman just focus to her career, and ignore her family.

Don’t go against the nature as a woman.