Spouse Candidate or Career?

Eaaaa, what if you have to choose one of the options? Will you choose spouse candidate or you’ll ignore them because you have assigned contract that isn’t allowed you to marry with your partner in office?

In my current office, there is a point in the contract that one employee can’t marry with other unless one of them resign and if the working period hasn’t reached 5 years yet, the person has to pay 300% of education cost to the company and it takes about 210 million rupiah $_$.

Caused by high intensity of meeting for about 3 months, it can be possible if “love affair” occurs. This case actually happens to my friends ^^. It’s like eating simalakama fruit, if you eat it your mom will die but if you don’t your father will.

It will be better to prevent the thing happen, because it’s like hard options to be chosen. These are some opinions of mine:

  1. Put a clear line and build a wall between friendship and personal life, especially with your opposite friends.
  2. Love can occur because a high intensity of communication and interaction, so beware.
  3. Open yourself in making a new friendship or relationship with new environment.

Before you’re blinded by love and controlled by your feeling, be realistic first and keep thinking over and over about that again. If you’ve already made a decision, no matter what it takes, you should undergo the consequences gracefully and make sure to make it count ;).

Keep smiling ;).

Compatibility Reason

Terkadang ketika ditanyai kriteria pasangan yang diinginkan, beberapa orang akan merasa kebingungan untuk menentukan jawabannya. Namun tak jarang kriteria-kriteria itu bisa saja tetap tidak membawa rasa “klik” ketika sudah menemui orang yang memenuhi kriteria tadi. Misal:

  • seiman dan bisa jadi imam: check
  • pinter: check
  • laki-laki: check
  • rambut belahan 35,678 derajat dari kemiringan sisi kanan menghadap utara 45 derajat: check *emang ada gituh?*
  • kaki ga bau: check
  • bisa dibawa ke kondangan: check
  • tampang ibunya ramah dan tidak seperti mertua-jahat-ala-sinetron: check
  • dsb

Ini hanya contoh.

Dalam teoriku (skali lagi maaf kalo salah, aku juga ga pernah maksa untuk setuju kok :)) sebenarnya kriteria-kriteria itu tidak akan berlaku dan termaafkan begitu saja ketika menemui seseorang yang dirasa kompatibel.

Dan sebaliknya, kenapa bisa tidak klik padahal kriteria A-ZZ sudah dipenuhi? Feeling, karena ketiadaan feeling untuk merasa compatible dengan orang tadi. Kenapa ga compatible? Bisa jadi karena beberapa alasan, seperti:

  1. Ada hal yang prinsipil yang memang menghalangi keduanya untuk berada pada jalan yang sama.
  2. Dia tidak bisa merengkuh hatimu.
  3. You just feel it, sometime something can’t be explained :).
  4. Errr… have no idea :D, sorry..

Berada pada pihak yang merasa dan dirasai tidak kompatibel sama-sama tidak enak. Tapi bukankah lebih baik meninggalkan hal yang memunculkan keragu-raguan? Tentunya setelah dipertimbangkan dengan baik apakah hal itu memang bisa ditolerir atau tidak. Jangan sampai main tabrak aja dengan yang available di depan mata hanya untuk mengejar “target”, dan jangan sampai juga merasakan “good opportunity won’t knock twice on your door” atau “sometimes it takes losing something to realize what you’ve had”.

Remember that

and

So, be wise while choosing. Don’t put yourself and other in grey area :).

Gnite all..

Don’t You Feel Lonely Being a Single?

Last night, a friend of mine asked a question that surprised me:

Don’t you feel lonely being a single?

I laughed a lot :lol:.

I had been involved in my previous relationships for about 5,5 years. Being a single for last 1 year gives new experiences for me.

After passing through not less than 5 years with having someone at my side, it felt like do bungee jumping in my early life entering “single world”. Honestly I prepared some plans and the relationship ended screwing it up.

We can make plans, but God decides the rest.

I think we’re the only one who decides our direction, to feel sad or happy, to feel blessed or cursed. Soon after satisfied hanging myself in a bungee’s rope, I stood up and started a new life. I feel so excited, I make dreams that I never had  before, feel like flying high and realize there are things that I overlooked before (because I focused on my relationship and its package).

Being single or in a relationship, it depends on you to manage and take the positive points from each of those kind of status. By being single I can be more independent, free to decide many aspects in my life that related with career, dreams and plan of future without having any responsibility to another party except God, family, and myself.

By being single I never cry because a fight with my boyfriend (because I don’t have), I don’t have to ask permission or inform my activities, with whom I hangout, feel jealous or guilty because attracted to someone else.

But by being single, I don’t have someone to be the victim when my period comes 😆 *kidding*.

No matter what your status is, the only matter is how you control your life and fill your time with worthwhile activities :).
Some people say that love comes when you least expect it ^^.

The 1st Wedding of 3Gers

Hari sabtu kemarin 2010.10.02 aku dan Elly tour ke 3 kota di Jawa Timur: Surabaya, Gresik dan Bojonegoro. Berangkat dari Cikarang menggunakan bus DAMRI yang ke bandara jam 5 pagi, karena kami ingin menghadiri acara akad nikah dari anggota 3G yang lain yakni Elys. Kakluk yang dari Bali pun dateng (sayangnya, dia tidak bisa menyabotase 3 bule untuk menemani kami :p).

Hal yang dapat disimpulkan dari perjalanan kemarin adalah:

  1. Buseeet, Bojonegoro jauuuuh :lol:. Waktu yang diperlukan untuk tiap perjalanan Cikarang-Bojonegoro atau Bojonegoro-Cikarang (Jakarta-Surabaya dan sebaliknya menggunakan pesawat, termasuk waktu tunggu, ngetem, dsb) adalah 11 jam. WOW!
  2. Kalau dari Bungur dan mau ke terminal Osowilangun, naiklah bus P8 yang via tol Panjang untuk menghemat waktu.
  3. Dari bandara Juanda ke terminal Bungur bisa naik bus DAMRI dan cukup membayar Rp 15.000.
  4. Di Bojonegoro ga ada taksi.

Pernikahan pertama dari 3Gers ini seketika membawa euphoria dan kenangan jama-jaman kami masih duduk di bangku kuliah. Sejak dulu ketika aku, Elly dan Kakluk harus mengerjakan tugas dan menginap di kosannya Elys, atau ketika kami hanya mengadakan acara menginap hanya untuk ngobrol atau have fun, ramalan siapa yang akan menikah duluan pun sering tertuju pada Elys. And it happened ;). We’re happy for you, pal ^^.

She didn’t through the way easily, ada nangis-nangisnya yang pasti ^^V ketika harus menghadapi pilihan-pilihan. But we decide our own destiny, choose and live with it. Karena seperti kata Elly, kita hanya perlu mencari pasangan yang kompatibel dengan diri kita *tsaaah*.

Mengenang jaman-jaman kuliah memang menyenangkan dan gada habisnya. We had our love stories, mengagumi para dosen (yang sayangnya sudah beranak istri :lol:), tempat makan favorite, the silly and stupid but awesome things that we did :p, dan masih banyak lagi. Kakluk mengidolakan dosen yang sekarang sedang di Aussie untuk menjalani pendidikan S3nya, dan aku tentu saja mengidolakan kedua dosen pembimbing skripsiku *evil laughs* yang salah satunya sedang menyelesaikan S2 di Jerman.

Dulu (dan mungkin sampai sekarang), kami masih aja sering rebutan tanggal cantik. “Heyy, tanggal ini uda aku pesan. Kamu pake tanggal yang lain aja“, tentu saja itu tanggal yang dipilih untuk tanggal pernikahan :p. Ada yang 101010, ada yang pengen pake angka biner *lirik Kakluk* dan terciptalah 010111 (karena kalo mau pake 101010 udah nyaris ga mungkin :p), ato ada juga yang 091011 ihihi, yang jelas angka cantik dikantongi dulu walaupun sang partner masih dalam perjalan kemari.

Oh ya, ada 1 hal yang bikin kami ga berhenti tertawa adalah ketika aku menginap di rumah Elys kemarin dan aku dipinjami kaosnya. Di kaos itu ada sablonan foto Elys yang ternyata itu adalah kado yang pernah diberikan oleh salah satu fans nya :lol:. Love makes someone more creative, right?.

I love for having you pals ^^. Dan siapapun diantrian berikutnya, we’ll come to your wedding (or my wed, who knows? 😉 ).

Foto akan diupload menyusul, karena belum dapat filenya dari Elly hehehe.

If You Mean It, Shout It Loudly

Kadang aku suka gemes sendiri, sebagai “konsultan hati” aka tong sampah, ketika aku mendapati “klien” yang bisanya cuma berisik (curhat) di depanku tapi ga berani ngomong langsung ke target soal perasaannya *gebukin meja*. Berbagai alasan dikemukakan, mulai dari malu, gengsi, ga berani menanggung resiko kalau hasilnya tidak seperti yang diharapkan, takut di target merasa terganggu dsb.

C’est la vie! You have to do something to get what you want. You need to tell what you feel inside, because the people you love are not a paranormal who can read mind.

This thing makes me remember my sisters. They’re not as expressive as I am. When my oldest sister was on her way to Soekarno Hatta airport, she sent me a message:

You always be my lovely little sister

It makes me feel good and I was touched ^^.

Life is never far from the risk and taking risks is challenging thing :D. But, don’t forget to do it gracefully :D. Yah biar misalnya kalo malu, malunya ga seberapa lah :lol:.

Dan aku sangat setuju sekali dengan pernyataan bahwa:

Beberapa tahun ke depan, 5, 10 atau 20 tahun lagi, kita akan lebih menyesali hal-hal yang tidak pernah kita lakukan daripada hal yang pernah kita kerjakan.

So, what will you do? It’s your decision ^^.

Picture taken from here.

Get Lost in A Wedding

Dia terlihat begitu menawan di hari pernikahannya. Dengan mengenakan gaun berwarna coklat keemasan, menyempurnakan tahtanya yang tak terbantahkan di hari itu sebagai sang ratu.

Aku duduk di barisan terdepan untuk menyaksikan wajahnya yang bersemu merah ketika tangan sang pria beruntung berjabatan erat dengan tangan ayahnya, mengucap janji. Jantungku berdegup kencang, lututku terasa lemas.

Gambaran senyum lebarnya ketika dia membuka kado yang aku berikan di kelima ulang tahun terakhirnya, masih terlihat jelas di kepalaku. Aroma rambutnya yang begitu khas dan menenangkan, ketika dia kelelahan menangis dan akhirnya bersandar di bahuku, pun masih bisa aku nikmati hanya dengan memejamkan mata. Lima peti berukuran 2 x 1 meter rasanya tak pernah cukup untuk mengemas kenangan yang kami miliki. Terlalu banyak. Terlalu dalam.

Dulu aku punya hal yang aku perlukan untuk bisa menjadikan takdir berpihak pada kami, kesempatan. Namun aku terlalu takut diikat dan dipasung oleh hal yang bersembunyi di balik kedok komitmen. Dan aku membiarkan 5 tahun berlalu begitu saja tanpa menyisakan jejak perjalanannya, kecuali kenangan.

Setelah kata “sah” terucap, hidupku hanya terisi oleh 1 hal, sesal. Sesal yang tak akan pernah mengubah apapun. Apapun.

And I am lost, because the fight for you is all I’ve ever known.

Picture of Mbak Tiar taken from Tospringe Photography.

Lost in Denial

Her friend : He loves you!
Her : He liked me, or maybe he never.
Her friend : How could? He said it to you.
Her : Maybe he drank or made a joke.
Her friend : Terrific. He drove and drank.
Her : I just don’t want to chase the wind. Hope for nothing.
Her friend : Do you love him?
Her : No.
Her friend : Do you love him?
Her : I did.
Her friend : Do you love him?
Her : I DO! Are you satisfied now? She’s crying and choking.
Her friend : You’re just a coward, you’re scared being hurt. Time goes by young lady, two years.
Her : I have to protect my own heart.
Her friend : That’s why you rejected 4 proposals from great guys ?
Her : It’s because I am still waiting for him.

The Secret Tears

They’re a good friend for more than 8 seasons.
Share their stories, laughs and their love life. But they never get crush each other. Never.

@lia : eh katanya kamu mau nraktir aku sushi?
jazz2001 : ah masa si? :p
@lia : dih, iya. Baru juga minggu kemaren blgnya
jazz2001 : minggu deh kita nyushi kalo gt
@lia : ahay, beneran?
jazz2001 : iya, ga pake kalap pokoknya. Bisa makan mi instan ntar aku akhir bulan
@lia : nggak la, cuma ga makan doang dari pagi :lol:. Biar bisa menampung banyak ahahah
jazz2001 : sama aja -_-
@lia : eh eh 😉
jazz2001 : firasat ga enak, pasti ada maunya
@lia : ah, jangan gt dong, aku kan slalu manis :p. Eh kenalin dong sama temenmu
jazz2001 : siapa?
@lia : itu yang tadi fotonya kamu upload di FB, lucu de kayaknya hihi *kedip2*
jazz2001 : dasar ganjen, ga bisa liat yang bening dikit. Ini lo aku, bening bgt, dianggurin aja hahaha
@lia : aish. Siapa namanya?
jazz2001: Albert
@lia : hihi, maooooo..
jazz2001 : aku dapet apa ntar?
@lia : dapet ucapan trima kasih dan kasih sayangku 😉
jazz2001 : ah, lips service doang
@lia : ahaha tau aja. Ya, ya, comblangin *kedip2 lagi*
jazz2001 : iya, ntar aku kenalin..
@lia : aaaahhh, you’re the best eveeerrrrr *hugs*

And tears are streaming from his eyes.
He’s feeling hurt in his chest.
But he doesn’t know, what kind of pain indeed.

Ways To Express Love

Suddenly I remembered my eldest sister. The last message I sent to her was a news related with my future plan. And she replied “it’s okay, so learn again”.

She has a tough personality, independent, a hard worker and she’s a kind of person who will stand on the front line to protect her family from bad things other people do. If I have to use one word to describe her, I’ll choose “fierce” :D. But behind her tough characteristic, she has a soft heart. Most of the times, she gives her best effort to people who ask for help.

On the previous New Year’s holiday, I spent my time there, at her home in Jogjakarta. We talked much at night, because she has to work until afternoon. As always, I am as person with expressive and stubborn characters, revealed some of my thought in front of her. And we took time until nearly down to find an agreement. I felt like long time didn’t talk to her in person. That was perfectly nice.

When the day came for me to go back to Jakarta, she accompanied me to airport. On the last time, I kissed her and she looked bit awkward 😀 and said “you’ll come again, right?”. I just smiled and pushed my trolley away from her because I had to check in.

Two days after I came back to Jakarta, she made a call. She said with half laughed and cried that she cries when open the door of the room that I used when I stayed at her home, because she thought that I was there ^^.

Nice thing also happened when she forgot my birthday. Soon after she realized that she made a biiiiiiig mistake *hyperbolic hihihi*, she talked to me and said “unyil, honey, my lovely youngest sister, please forgive me blahblah..” :D. She’s nice indeed.

We can’t ask people to express their feeling in the same way with ours. Some people will choose to hide their real feeling deep inside and show the opposite with many reasons; shy, not get used to it, awkward or just for keeping his/her pride high or something else. But on this case I walk on my theory, I’ll let the people that I love know what my real feeling is. Because I don’t want to take the risk to regret in the rest of my life when I have to lose my time to tell them what the truth is. No matter what. I’ll choose to feel ashamed than regret. And I realized that they’re not mind reader who can find things unspoken correctly.

So, which way will you choose? ^^

Huge hugs and lotta loves from here, sis..

To All Those Who Have Lost A Loved

Some people never realize that they’ve already made a gruesome mess, when they just so fu*king easily to enter and leave someone’s life. Do you know what happened to the his/her life? I am not sure if you care.

Ya, Raditya Dika wrote :

Falling in love is the most undemocratic feeling, because we can’t choose and refuse to care about someone.

moreover if unfortunately we fall for (errr..it’s easier if we call them) jerks. I don’t know what’s on earth when they do that thing, i mean it’s kind of the most unfair game if you’re playing with someone’s heart.

For an example, boy can say “ya, i love you, i care about you, please stay with me” or just simply “ya, i’ve crush on you” to a girl, and then another time he just abandons her feeling.

Okay, if he wants to blame her for doing the stupid thing; take too serious of what he said. She didn’t ask you to say it, right?

Maybe it will be easier if everything that he said just take place in her brain, not her heart. But most of the time, a simple and humdrum words could brighten up someone’s day and it could mean a lot.

What about if your sweet and poisonous words become her hope? Become her reason to stay alive? Or one of the source of her happiness?

Loving someone don’t like driving car on a road; if you take a wrong way, you can turn your car after you see the turning direction at the side of the road. I wish it could be that easy. God didn’t create backspace and delete buttons in our life for a reason.

So, please be wise while using your words. No need to spread your poisons all around. If you don’t have a plan to stay, be nice and don’t ruin someone’s life, stay away and shut your mouth. You can destroy her hope, and maybe it’s the last thing that she had. Even more if you don’t care and don’t want to take the responsibility of the scars that you’ve made.

There are only 2 things that can not be fixed by human: history and broken hearts. –#ihatequotes

P.S: This is for you hun. And hope it wont take long time to realize that i am the one who have the kicer disease :lol:.